Hello there!

Three months passed. 

Time heals, but for how long more do I need to endure this pain?

My heart aches whenever I think of the past. 

I pray that You will continue to guide my path & give me strength to go through this phase. 

Thank you, Lord!

Tonight I just wana give thanks to the One above. 

Thank you, Lord, for guiding me during my darkest time,

For providing me strength when I'm weak,

For giving me wisdom when I'm lost,

For giving me faith when I feel like giving up.

Thank you for all the blessings and I just can't stop saying how awesome You really are. For all the miracles that happened to me, thank You for making it happened & I hope You will continue to guide my path. 

I'll continue to pray and give thanks to You. 

The road less taken

Today, I choose to take the road less travelled, to the unknown path. 

Yes, it's risky and scary because you don't know where it'll lead you. 

But with a leap of faith, that all will be well .. This is what I discovered along the way. 

It could be bumpy, longer route to take you to the destination. But it's the journey that makes all the difference. You just embrace the unknown and enjoy the journey. 

No pressure to hurry to the destination. You are walking at your own pace and you feel at peace with yourself. I guess that's what living in the moment really means. 

Updates

I really love this quote from Mr Jobs:

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something- your gut, destined, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

How true is that!

I guess I've matured a little- I have learnt not to be too headstrong and to go with the flow instead. 

In whatever you do, have faith that God has everything planned for you, & He only wants the best for you. When you fill up your mind with only positive thoughts, your life magnifies and good things will happen to you. 

If it's too exhausting for you, I'll keep my distance. 

If you don't see this as a red flag, we will eventually move on- to our own separate ways.

Cause not everything need to be told, every single time. 

You gotta feel it, with all your heart. 

& do it because your heart wants to.

I'm slowly losing faith because I know my worth. & I'd rather be alone than desperate.  

New journey

Hola!

Wow, it has been two months going to the third month already since I'm here in Singapore!

Time flies!

Wait, years passed by like weeks right after graduation. I don't know what happened in between right after Year 2009. I miss schooling! T.T

So, what am I doing in Singapore right now? How am I doing? Am I adapting well to the new working environment?

My answer to all these questions is a YES! I'm coping very well right now. The hardest phase is over, I don't know about the future. But as of now, everything's good, except for the fact. I feel so empty. Sighs. Guess I must be feeling homesick. Haha

Guess what, my mum was here for a week! You know how I really hated it when my mum every single time without failed, like a playback audio kept advising  me to take care. Be safe! Be careful, stuff like that? (I secretly love it now when my mum nags me.. Cos I miss her T.T) 

As soon as my mum is back from Japan, I told her to stay here for a week, to experience what I've been experiencing right now. This country is so freaking safe ! But their food is lousy and expensive! To cut long story short, my mum didn't like it here. Haha

But that one week was the best time I've ever had in my time in Singapore. For the first time ever, I feel like home. Just imagine for the past months, I come home to seeing the four walls, eating rubbish food, no one to talk to. In short, I was an emotionless robot. Nothing to look forward to. But my mum's presence made all the differences. Although it was tiring to travel after work to my mum's place then back to my own place everyday, but it was all worth it. Imagine this scenario now, you come home to seeing your mum and shared with her your day at work, home cooked food was prepared for you & best of all, your mum walked you to the bus stop- cos we both knew, time spent together was too precious.

Don't take your parents for granted, and trust me, when you're faraway from home. You'll then realize your parents are the best gift ever! For my case, that persons happen to be my mum and sister both playing the role of a dad and mum to me. 

End of story. Sleepy. Ciao

I'm so tired 😭

On staying positive

Oh dear. 

I know it's not gonna be easy, but I don't know it's gonna be this difficult either. 

Not so much on the physical, but mentally- I am exhausted. 

When indulging in good food no longer works. I know I'm in trouble. 

I used to be able to distract myself by indulging in food excessively. At least I feel happy, even though it's only temporary. 

But today is one of those rare days, where I completely broke down. I couldn't hold my tears any longer. 

Transition Period

I dare you to be patient with life. To know that it changes more than you think it does. To realize that the ugliness of the day can be turned into the beauty of tomorrow. And to also be patient with yourself, and to know that you too are a piece of artwork that is unfinished.

I dare you to believe in tomorrow. Not because it is promised to you – it isn’t. But because it is that place in which possibility exists. The possibilities that the struggles you encounter will become the testimonies you celebrate.

But above all, I dare you to believe in today. In this hour, in this moment, and in you. That your life has brought you to it; that you can survive it simply by being in it. I dare you to be in your life in this moment. In this moment, I dare you just to be.

Thank you, exactly what I needed at the moment. Words of encouragement. Ahahahaha 

Being Your Most Successful Self

Success, like a relationship, does not happen overnight. It’s something that needs time, a little bit of luck and dedication. Your twenties are not supposed to be the years you’re taking jets to St. Barths and enjoying the perks of a car service.

Your twenties are for paying your dues, learning the ropes and climbing all those ladders. Your thirties are for reaping the benefits.

Stop stressing because you’re not in your dream job or making that six-figure salary just yet. You need time to create your brand, build your dreams and look forward to the good life.

"The most beautiful part to loving a guarded girl is this: When she lets you in, it’s not because she needs you. She stopped needing people a long time ago. It’s because she wants you. And that – that is the purest love of all."

Spring in Japan

The significance of the cherry blossom tree in Japanese culture goes back to hundreds of years. In their country, the cherry blossom represents the fragility and the beauty of life. It's a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short. 

Seize the day. 

There's no right or wrong decision in life, so long as you are happy and have no regrets. 

I wish for you nothing, but only happiness. 

#20 Random Facts About Me

Recently I've seen many of my friends posting this #20 facts about me thing & tagging their friends in Instagram. 

This reminds me so much of my younger years where I used to post that a lot in Friendster. 

I know I know. The new millennials wouldn't have heard of the word Friendster, ICQ or whatnot, cos even if they do, it's very old school & not cool. 

Anyway, just for the fun of doing it. Here's my list of very random facts about me that I feel you should know:

#1 Weird is not the right word to describe me. I would label myself as a very unique individual because there's only one me in this entire universe. No one can do a good job being me better than myself. & I am one of a kind.

#2 As a child, I always love travelling. Even dreamt about it days & nights. That's the reason why I chose Hospitality as my course of study. Cos I have a strong desire to work in hotels hoping that I would be able to travel around & to experience what this world has to offer. 

#3 I'm a very stubborn person. My persistence level is so high that once I made up my mind into doing something, even if the whole universe is against it, I'll not tremble & I for that matter, will prove you wrong. Because I strongly believe that, no one's opinion of you matters & no one knows how to live your life better than yourself. 

#4 I love sleeping more than anything. I can sleep anywhere, anytime, anyhow I like it. The longest hours I've ever slept was, 16hrs? I can easily doze off when I'm bored or when my mind is blank. Haha. In high school, I was even awarded with the title of Sleeping Beauty. 

#5 During my free time, I like to daydream or to think about my future. This could be the reason why I got freaked out so easily & caused unnecessary stress to myself. I like to make plans for my future & even daydreaming about it makes my day. 

#6 Honesty is the best policy. But in my case, sometimes I feel I'm being too straightforward that I've hurt many of my friends indirectly. Layman's term, they'll label me as being stupid, too honest for what? But it's something that I can't help. I just don't know how not to be honest. I'm being honest with myself, for the least. 

#7 For that reason, I hate liars. No I don't hate them, I despise them. Oh, and I hate hypocrites too! I try to avoid them as much as I can. 

#8 I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught of what I should do or shouldn't do. I do not like restrictions. 

#9 For that matter, I consider myself a rebel. I don't like restrictions. No one has the right to force anyone to do something unwillingly. That's when I'll stand up for myself & fight for it even if my words are shaky. I don't care. Lol

#10 Ok, I have no idea what to type anymore. I guess I'll do what I do best, I need to have my Beauty Sleep now. Ciao!

"Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." –Mark Twain

Yup, and that's why silence is golden. I can never beat their stupidity, but I believe timing will run its course. I just need to endure this course of life. 

Oh dear, at the moment I wish life does come with a Life Manual Book on how to endure this phase of life. 

It's rocky, yes.

But for the first time ever, I feel so helpless. 

Anxiety building stronger in me as days come by. 

It's torturing. 

Please toughen me up & provide me the strengths to go through this hardship. 

For I refuse to quit just yet. 

I may not be a superwoman, 

but I know indefinitely,

I am a strong woman. 

Food for Thought: Sacrifice

This video is phenomenal.

If the video doesn't appear, you may go to this link directly: Sacrifice: The Best Motivational Video Ever

There are so many phenomenal phrases in this video that I couldn't help but to share them with the world. (I mean it, I love all the phrases and sayings in this video. Prolly one of the best motivational video that I've watched to date)

Here's the excerpts of my favorite:

"There will never be a point in your life, where is the right time to do a great thing? If you're waiting for that perfect moment, that perfect timing, it's not going to happen. You have to create the perfect time, the perfect opportunity, and the perfect situation."

"So a lot of people become comfortable. They stop growing, they stop wanting anything, they become satisfied." (I have nothing against people who are contented with what they already have in life. But I just hate it when these contented bunch of people trying to influence/oppose those individuals, who in my opinion is constantly trying to improve their standards of living.)

"People getting ready to go to jobs that they don't like, jobs that are making them sick. You see, when you are not pursuing your goal, you are literally committing spiritual suicide." (Oh man, I love this phrase!) 

"When you have some goal out here that you are stretching for and reaching for that takes you out of your comfort zones, you'll find out some talents and abilities that you have that you didn't know you have. When the messenger of misery visits you, what are you going to do? What will keep you in the game?"

"There are things that you think you'll never need to know. That you may only need to know one time in your life, but that could save your life because you had that knowledge." (Yup, and knowledge is power!)

"Unless you attempt to do something beyond that, which you've already mastered, you'll never grow. What is it that you looked at, at some point in time and you decided you couldn't do it, that you talk yourself out of it?"

"If you're waiting on your mother, or your father, they may be so ancient in their thinking, that they don't understand this opportunity that you have. & if you're waiting on them, it may never get done." (No one knows how to live your life better than you do. So, be yourself. Not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be.)

"You don't beg average people to be phenomenal. You don't beg good people to be phenomenal. You just are PHENOMENAL. & you will attract phenomenal."

"What reason can you remember, that you can call on, that you can reach on, that can make you get back up. Find that reason."

"If you're not where you are. If you're not where you want to be. If you don't have what you want that you want to have. If you not where you think you should be at this particular place. It has nothing to do with the system, but it has everything to do with the fact that you're not making the sacrifice." (I couldn't agree more. Too often, people are too quick to point their fingers on others, but never to themselves.)

"I want you to make that dream become a reality, because if you don't, you'll be working for somebody else to make their dreams become a reality."

"Most people take their greatness, take their ideas to the graveyard with them."

"Listen to me, if it was easy, everybody would do it. There are people right now who are working who don't want to work. There are people who hate their jobs, but they keep getting up to do it."

"The wealthiest place on the planet, is the graveyard. Because in the graveyard we will find inventions that we never ever were exposed to. Ideas, dreams, that never became reality. Hopes and aspirations that were never acted upon." (This is my favorite. Absolutely love it!)

"You will never ever be successful until you turn your pain into greatness, until you allow your pain to push you from where you are to where you need to be. Stop running from your pain and embrace your pain. Your pain is going to be a part of your prize, a part of your product. I challenge you to push yourself."

"See it's easy to be on the bottom, it doesn't take any effort to be a loser. It doesn't take any motivation and any drive in order to stay down there on a low level. But it calls on everything in you. You have to harness your WILL to say: I'm going to challenge myself!"

"The biggest enemy you have to deal with is yourself. There's an old African proverb that says "If there's no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm"." (This is genius! It reminds me of the Buddha's story I read sometime ago: Buddha's Story )

"When life knocks you down, try to land on your back because if you can look up, you can get up."

"If you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it, to work day and night for it, to give up your time and peace and your sleep for it. If all that you dream and scheme is about it. And life seems useless and worthless without it."

"See it's time now. If you want to make this your decade, you've gotta start saying Yes to your life. YES to your dreams. YES to your unfolding future. YES to your potential. As opposed to saying NO."

"When you die, you die on E. Leave no dreams left behind guys. Leave no opportunity left behind. When you leave this earth, accomplish every single thing you can accomplish." (This makes a good verse yo. LOL)

"You gotta wana succeed, as bad as you wanna breathe."

I have listed my favorite phrases/sayings in this video. So, what is your favorite? This video is awesome, no? :)

Dear December,

I'm exhausted already. 

Pls strengthen my soul to endure the remaining 24 days. 

I wouldn't say it's tough, but it's not easy either. It's tough when you are trying your best to do the right things, but adversity sets in to test your strength. To see how far you can withstand the pressure. 

Today is one of those days where I have completely lose my temper on people. The usual patience & timid self has disappeared. I seriously couldn't stand how a person could be so superb thick skin lying straight to my face. I hate it! 

& I even hate it when I myself was being indecisive seeking for other people's opinion of the decision that I was about to make, but I hated the opinion of others. 

CHAN SUK WAI WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN TO TRUST IN YOUR SELF? That you are truly capable to do the right thing, in the right way, for the right reason? 

Choice. Yours is speaking to you now as you read these words. Sure, there have been times when I caved and listened to others—many times. And I can think of the disasters that followed from not listening to my voice. 

It's okay. Everyday is still a learning day. You tried & you made mistake, just make sure don't commit the same mistake twice okay? Be a wiser person today!

Great. Goodnight already!

A tree is happy wherever it grows. It doesn’t secretly wish to sprout legs and run off to some other more happening part of the forest. (Robert Frost wrote a pretty great poem on this subject.)

In Buddhism, they call this patient acceptance.

Life happens in spite of your wishes. This is the nature of all things. When I began to accept this, my frustrations started to melt away.

When you can see yourself as a part of that nature, not separate from it, and start behaving as nature does, you will become more peaceful.

I’ve learned to embrace the work now.

I just don’t worry so much any more about how it all turns out.

It all turns out fine.