I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be ☺☺
You know that song you hear every New Year's Eve? The one about not forgetting old acquaintances. Did you ever wonder what that phrase is in the chorus? On New Year's Eve, the most common song for most English-speaking people to sing is "Auld Lang Syne."
The words 'Auld Lang Syne' literally translates from old Scottish dialect meaning 'Old Long Ago' and is about love and friendship in times past. The lyrics in the song Auld Lang Syne referring to 'We'll take a Cup of Kindness yet' relate to a drink shared by men and women to symbolise friendship. Happy New Year!!!!
Auld Lang Syne is an extremely old Scottish song that was first written down in the 1700s. Robert Burns is the person whose transcription got the most attention, so the song is associated with him.
If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Don’t bother reserving a space in your heart or time for people who do not make an effort to stay.
& for the obvious reason,
I'm not upset that you lied to me,
I'm upset that from now on I can't trust you anymore.
ps: just get the hell outta my life ASAP & I do not wish to see you anymore.
pps: i promise there will be no more post about you. cos you do not worth even a second of my life to be wasted on you. not anymore.
for today,
i was hit by PMS & got upset with one of my friend for the slightest thing
we both found it hilarious after the whole dramatic-screaming-and-shouting-scene.
oh, & i decided to have a new hairstyle.
i found it most amusing when the hairstylist actually told me my fringe looks like a railway road.
so i decided to chop it off.
ha ha ha
replacement class on a Saturday morning.
ahhhh, there goes my weekends.
Hello, I am Miss Selfish! I have enough of tryna help everyone & ended up torturing myself. Enough is enough. I don't wana risk my CGPA just for the sake of helping others anymore. This is tiring you know. If you are not willing to help yourself don't expect others to lend a helping hand to spoon feed you all the time. This is annoying you know. Enough is enough. Call me selfish, but once i'm done with this semester Next semester onwards I'll start planning for myself, for the sake of myself and no more you or others. I'm tired of having this fear of not being good enough. goodnight!
have any of you been following the episodes of Running Man?
if you haven't, you should start watching right now!
it's a korean variety shows.
laughter is the best medicine.
for yours truly, Running Man is the best stress-reliever medicine. heh heh
anyway, back to my personal updates,
recently, i've been getting more violent.
i've no explanation to this but it started to bother me.
i'm not a violent person by nature, & so i thought. ;p
i love to disturb people for god's sake. period
but recently, i've lost control & whack people whether i'm angry or excited.
this is getting out of hand.
somebody call 9-1-1?
i need help.
for the least, i'll try to get back to my old self. the polite old self.
just don't provoke me & trigger my itchy hand. that'll be fine.
now now, i've noticed some similarity between the casts of Running Man & my housemates. Here's the chosen pictures;
This.. Is.. SPARTAAA! i see that in ***, one of my housemates.
i used to ponder why la everyone gets so timid when see him, now i know why. when you have a similar Sparta living with you, you'll react the same way they did on television.
He has this label that says; "dont mess with me if you wanna live"
another interesting cast of Running Man. the one always being ignored and get bullied for, just because they don't fight back and obediently listen to you.
no, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying ***** is easily bullied or what nots, it just that too often people like me takes her for granted just because she is a nice person.
so people like me gets too carried away & jadi kaki buli.
but mind you, whenever night falls in
that's when i gain my consciousness
and to reflect on what i've done for the day,
it doesn't make me feel good as a human being.
that's a bad deed, yes i know.
& i'll remind myself to be a better person than i am today,
but when the sun rises,
the cycle repeats itself again.
tragedies repeat itself again
& i've no choice but to remind myself again,
be a good person, Suk Wai.
but history tends to repeat itself over and over again.
God saves me! ;)
For a fact,
I self-talked a lot.
I spoke to myself every morning, every night.
To constantly self-motivate.
To remind myself I have a purpose yet to be achieved.
Cos if I don't, high chances of me falling off track is of no surprise.
Apple's Think Different advertising campaign. 1997-2002
by Roger James Hamilton My note on Steve: 13 Dots...
With the passing of Steve Jobs, it’s easy to think that Jobs’ career began and ended with Apple. It did, but the fastest way from A to B is rarely a straight line. In Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech, he talks about ‘connecting the dots’, saying “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Here’s thirteen dots that for me defined the story of Steve:
DOT ONE: When Steve Jobs launched Apple with Steve Wozniak in 1976, they decided to name the company after the fruit that according to legend spurred Isaac Newton’s theories on gravity. Jobs then spent most of his life defying gravity, and defying the odds.
DOT TWO: Starting with the premise that the best ideas are already out there, Jobs negotiated with Xerox to grant Apple engineers access to the Xerox PARC facilities in return for selling them one million dollars in pre-IPO Apple stock. It was from this visit that Jobs collected the ideas behind the fundamentals of today’s PC – the graphic user interface, mouse and pointer.
DOT THREE: How did Jobs go from start-up to listed company in four years? By getting his mentors to work for him. Jobs brought on a local VC, Mike Markkula, who bought shares in the company and subsequently became CEO. He brought in Regis McKenna, the best public relations man in Silicon Valley, to market the Apple II. Markkula was responsible for the early financing of the company, and for taking Apple public in 1980.
DOT FOUR: Despite becoming worth $217 million when Apple listed, Jobs kept relying purely on his intuition. Apple’s head of marketing, Mike Murray, commented, “Steve did his market research by looking into the mirror every morning.” Sales stalled, Jobs’ management style was seen by his board as a liability and, in 1985, he was thrown out of the company he had started nine years earlier.
DOT FIVE: That might have been the end of another entrepreneur story, was it not for Jobs’ perseverance. Having left Apple, he launched NeXT, to provide PCs to the education market. Apple sued Jobs for launching in competition, prompting him to say, “It’s hard to think that a $2 billion company with 4,300 plus people couldn’t compete with six people in blue jeans.” Jobs sold all but one of his Apple shares, and Apple continued to languish, falling from 20% market share to under 5% by 1996. Jobs, in the meantime, struggled with NeXT, burning through $250 million of investors’ money as he tried to market his new computers.
DOT SIX: In the same year that Jobs founded NeXT, George Lucas was looking to sell a small computer animation group he owned. Disney rejected an offer to buy 50% for $15 million, and a deal to sell to Ross Perot and Phillips for $30 million fell through. Jobs ended up negotiating Lucas to under $10 million for the business, thinking he could market the high-end animation computers that the group had designed.
DOT SEVEN: Renamed ‘Pixar’, Jobs’ new company began marketing the Pixar Image Computer to the medical market – with little success. By 1989, with Pixar losing over $1 million each month, and NeXT faring little better, Jobs found himself left with less than 20% of the $150 million he had received when he sold his Apple stock. At the rate he was going, within two years he would be back to zero.
DOT EIGHT: Taking drastic measures, Jobs sold the hardware side of Pixar for several million, taking a massive loss. By luck, an animated short movie the Pixar team produced in their spare time, “Tin Toy”, received an Oscar, and in 1993, Disney approved a full feature joint venture with Pixar called “Toy Story”.
DOT NINE: The victory was short lived with Disney shutting production of Toy Story down later in the year after losing confidence in the script. Then in 1994, Disney lost four executives in a helicopter crash, including Chief Operating Officer Frank Wells. Jobs was left attempting to get Toy Story back on track while also having to close the NeXT manufacturing facility and sales operation. Most of the NeXT team left. The investors, having put in another $100 million, saw that money disappear too. Toy Story, now back on Disney’s agenda, it would need to earn at least $100 million for Pixar to make any money from it at all; more than any other Disney film had made at the time.
DOT TEN: Even so, an audacious Jobs, down to his last dollar, decided to bet that not only would Toy Story be a success, it would enable him to publicly list Pixar and raise further funds. In November 1995, Toy Story opened to enormous acclaim, becoming the highest grossing release of the year, generating over $450 million in sales. One week later, Pixar had its IPO. Less than twelve months after his worst year financially, Steve Jobs was a billionaire.
DOT ELEVEN: Then, in 1996, Gil Emilio (the new CEO of Apple) went hunting for a new operating system and finally found it… in NeXT. Approaching Jobs for his system, Jobs was only interested in selling the entire company. Apple bought it for $377.5 million in cash and $1.5 million in Apple shares. In one fell swoop, Jobs could pay off all his investors and was involved with Apple again – after over ten years.
DOT TWELVE: In 1997 Apple sales were $7 billion and losses were over $1 billion. Jobs took to the challenge of revitalizing Apple. By 1998, Jobs launched the iMac, followed with the iPod, iPhone and iPad. The rise of Apple to become the most valuable company in the world are well documented, but less is known of the trials that shaped Jobs in his darker times.
DOT THIRTEEN: In January 2006, Disney (having rejected the chance to buy 50% of Pixar for $15 million ten years earlier) bought a transformed Pixar from Jobs for $7.4 billion in stock, making Jobs Disney’s largest individual shareholder and a billionaire for the third time.
To become a billionaire is already rare. To become a billionaire from scratch (or from $1 billion in losses) in three entirely different industries is unprecedented.
Jobs died today with a net worth of over $8 billion after having worked for $1 a year for the last 14 years.
Many people have heard his quote “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me.”
What most don’t know was that this was from a quote in the Wall Street Journal in Summer 1993 – Not when he was sitting on a billion dollars, but in his darkest days, outcast from Apple and the Tech community, struggling with both NeXT and an aimless Pixar, and about to run out of money.
You.
meeting you was fate.
but being friend with you is my choice.
You.
of all the people, made me believe there's a person with a heart like gold.
yet, of all the people i have encountered,
stupid is a strong word.
I would say, you defined how an ignorant person is like.
everyone keeps telling me, to give up on you.
but no, I cant give up on you just yet.
I'm being as ignorant as you are.
I choose to believe, eventually you'll open your eyes to see my intention.
& choose what's best for yourself and not what others want you to do.
but no, you are just as ignorant as you always are.
trying to avoid confrontations.
lies after lies.
excuses after one another.
how long are you gonna live a life like that?
Today,
I've reached my limits.
I've played my role as a friend to you,
to help you beyond than that.
but what i see, you're a total pain in the ass.
you choose to live the hell's path.
be as ignorant as you always are,
i have no rights to tell you what to do with your choice of life.
you're gonna face the music sooner or later.
but i sincerely wished you happiness.
i have a life to live by
& i choose not to waste any more time on you
so you can now kiss our friendship goodbye.
i give up on you now.
Sometimes life hits you hard. You have to go thru' obstacles, problems and face things that you hate the most. You are placed in situations which you wish the earth would suddenly open and swallow you right there and then.
But one thing I've learned and keep reminding myself is that... In whatever situations that you're in, you make the best out of it. Even if you stepped on shit or you're swimming in shit(pardon the language), you make the best out of it. I'm not sure how it can get better from shitty situations, but things will eventually get better. It's just the ones that are strong and have courage to go thru' the stormy seas and hurricanes, those are the ones that will survive and enjoy the rainbow at the end. Some don't make it, but for those who do make it, they come out stronger and ready for the next stormy weather. If it pours, wear a raincoat, take out an umbrella. If the wind is blowing right in ur face, walk with your butt facing the other direction. LOL. get it? Life goes on. Make the best out of it. In every situation, there's always something good in it. You may not see it now, you will, eventually.
rational tells me i should stop giving a shit about you.
but my heart confused me.
it makes me feel guilty for whatever shit i am doing to you.
but if i don't, i'm suffocating myself.
you make me feel worthless.
worthless of my time and advices being heard but not listened to.
as much as i respect your choice of life,
i hope you respect my feelings, as to why i do things i do.
stop running away like a child and start to pick up your responsibility as an adult.
stand firm to your decisions and stop trying to please everyone.
i'm sick of this pleasing game.
i have no issues with you, fyi.
it's your undecided-mind that i loathe.
on a different note..
few weeks back in my hometown is worthy.
i'm glad that i have finally woken up from dreamland and back to the harsh reality.
to get back on track to set my priority right again.
to know what is important and what should be excluded.
i picked up the tak-kisah attitude again for things that doesn't matter to me.
i dont wana be bothered anymore.
what matters to me?
studies will always be my priority.
i have families to whom their hopes are relied on my shoulders.
i have a CGPA to maintain or my scholarship will be taken back.
i can't afford to screw up again, or i'll not only disappoint myself but the people that i cared for.
most of all, i have every reasons to believe that i am capable of doing if i put my heart & soul into it.
i need support from friends. good friends i'm saying.
i need them not to judge me for things i do.
no question being asked, just trust would do.
i need friends to constantly push me to work even harder so i do not lost track again.
not all works and no play i am becoming.
but there is time for everything.
time to get serious.
& time to play.
the remaining two years left would be the critical point to decide which path one's will be heading towards; the successful or the failure path.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't know how to appreciate it. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, & only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life,but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it. I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had & what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that our background & circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your perception towards others. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life. I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control. I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned that nice people are often not good people & good people are often not nice people. I've learned that never to trust anyone 100% because humans are not perfect and will never be, you can only be cautious. I've learned that the best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do. I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. Sekian. LOL
Happy Birthday to my dearest, Ain Farra! It’s your birthday time again; It’s true; there’s no denying,
Another year has come and gone;
You know that I’m not lying. So for you, the birthday person,
Here’s what I want to say:
God gave a gift to the world when you were born;a person who loves, who cares,
who sees a person’s need and fills it,
who encourages and lifts people up,
who spends energy on others
rather than herself,
someone who touches each life she enters,
and makes a difference in the world.
I hope this 21st birthday’s the best one yet,
In every delightful way.
May the love you have shown to others
return to you, multiplied.
I wish you the happiest of birthdays,
and many, many more,
so that others have time to appreciate you as much as I do, although i do not say or show it to you often anymore.but you know i care for you.
deep inside, there's no one like you that impacted my life as much as you do.
you showed me what friendship is really about,
to care without expectations.
& thank you for holding on to this friendship despite how self-absorbed i was.thank you for everything you are to me.you are irreplaceable, please note that.
i love you from the bottom of my heart.So happy birthday to you.Have lots of birthday fun!May your birthday wishes all come true!
Hoping that your day will be as special as you are.
the entire article in purple is taken from http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2011/06/trust.html .
LOL
Everytime that I'm with my friends without Mike being there, if I call him I often ask suspiciously where he is, what he is doing, and whether he is cheating on me.
And without fail anyone who overhears my conversation will be like "OMG how can you not trust your own husband?"
LOL. I don't. Why should I? Name me ONE upside to blindly trusting ANYBODY. And my attitude has nothing to do with Mike. I'd explain.
Just look at all those who have suffered from being cheated upon. What do they say?
They say things like...
"I can't believe he would do this to me."
"I can't believe he has been sleeping with her for 4 freaking months and I didn't even know! How was I so blind and stupid?"
"All those times he said he was on a company dinner there was no dinner! I believed him for 18 freaking times and he went prostituting ALL THOSE TIMES!"
and most commonly of all...
"I can't believe I trusted him."
And this doesn't just apply to cheating. What about all those girls with sex tapes leaked out by their ex boyfriends? You think they are stupid and they trusted the wrong dudes? That your partner willNEVERdo that to you? That you are the clever one? Wake up. I've seen the MOST unlikely men cheat. Cecilia Cheung trusted Edison Chen to never show the close-up shots of her long-haired vagina to anyone. And there is it, on the net, forever. Sure he didn't mean to distribute it - but if she never trusted that he could safekeep it forever, this would never have happened to her. So back to me and my attitude towards trust. It seems silly to me that people put so much heart into that little word. They say"He would never hurt me. I just know.I trust him. " And I think... So what if you don't? Is it a bad thing, really? Is that supposed to be an insult on his character? Is he supposed to be ANGRY? Nothing to be angry about what. Everyone needs to safeguard their self-interests. You say you trust someone... To what extent do you do that? Do you give him your bank password? Would you let him do a video tour of your genitalia? Would you place him and Megan Fox on a deserted island with a condom? Probably not. Nobody trusts ANYBODY that much, unless they are completely naive. As for me, I trust that Mike will never choose a banana over an orange. Because he hates bananas and these things don't change. I'm willing to put a $1,000 bet on it. But probably not my whole fortune. I trust (not 100% but maybe 95%) that Mike will not, for example, see a girl at some event and go ask for her phone number. Because I know his character is shy and he is afraid someone might see him do this and report to me. But if he is drunk... Who knows? Trust is such a funny thing. People always say it needs to beearned, needs to bebuilt. After some time of interacting with something, certain things can be depended on. Like I trust that my blackberry will push my emails on time because it has never once failed to do it in 2 years. I trust that my McChicken will taste the same as it has always tasted. Over the course of 5 years, never once has Mike flirted back with girls who show interest in him, whether online or in real life. Yet I don't trust that he would never cheat on me.Why? 1) People change.Today he is madly in love with you. Tomorrow he is bored. The next day he is bored AND drunk. Day after that he is bored, drunk, horny and had a fight with you. Who knows? The only thing you can depend on is... People change with time. Even if their personalities remain identical, their feelings towards you might change. 2) Circumstances change.Sure, in these 5 years Mike has never met a girl he liked so much he is willing to give up everything with me. Tomorrow... Who knows? If he meets and gets to know 1,000,000 girls, there has got to one he finds is better than me, no matter how much he loves me. Right? 3) Consequences are bigger.And this is the best reason not to trust that your partner will not stray.CONSEQUENCES.It is my fucking heart at stake here! And my marriage! It is easy to trust when the consequences are small. I pay $2 to my usual chicken rice stall because I trust it will be yummy as always. Not yummy no big deal, I'd buy from another stall - net loss $2 and some time. But if I believe Mike will never stray, when he does, I'm gonna be fucked. You are shaking your head, thinking,"You dumb blonde, even if you don't trust, either way you are fucked. If it happens it happens!" You are wrong. Sure, I'd still be heartbroken. But wait...
Prevention is better than cure
I know I've mentioned this many times. When you remain vigilant about your partners actions, you are working hard to PREVENT him from committing a mistake. He knows you are checking his phone - there goes flirty smses. He knows you have all his passwords - can't woo girls online. If you know where he is every minute, he can't go to a hotel without arousing your suspicion. Sure he can work his way around all these but it is hard work. That's another deterrent. If he is willing to do all that to cheat, so be it. But I sure won't make it easy for him. He wants to go to a dirty KTV bar with his gross colleague. He swears he won't do anything with the girls there. Put your foot down and don't allow! You want to trust he won't get a hooker or prevent him from meeting one? Which has worse consequences? Explain to him why it makes you uncomfortable, then placate him with a blowjob. And if you find out some chick is mildly interested, you confront her, shame her, threaten her. You puff up your feathers and make sure she knows you will not go in peace. Worse come to worst you be nice to her so she gets so guilty she stops her nonsense. When you are so suspicious, won't it piss him off? If he has nothing to hide, he would not get angry.Obviously I don't do my routine checking in an awful way. I just log in to his fb, take up his phone to read when he is sleeping. He doesn't even know. If your man gets annoyed, it is the first sign that he IS possibly cheating on you. Maybe not full out cheating, but flirting, yes. Or that he wants to be able to. He is probably hiding something. Am I paranoid? Maybe. But from personal dating experience, those demanding privacy and space are the exact ones whoarecheating. Mike has never once got angry with me when I checked his phone or facebook. "Go ahead," he says. "You are just wasting your time." And he is right, I was. And he reads my shit too, in case you think this only goes one way. Cheating is just like cancer - you want to win it, you've got to find out early.Half the battle is won when you kill the sapling before it turns into a full grown weed, throttling your relationship. If he is just at the "getting to know" stage with some girl - you find out, you have a talk with him to resolve things. Make sure he won't see her again. You want to wait till he is in love? Too late. If he is already sleeping with someone else, when you find out you can plan your next step. If you are married, you can hire a PI - submit evidence to court and get half his fortune. Cease sleeping with him in case you get some disease. Cut off his penis. Or forgive him, depending on the severity of his crime. Why, do you want to wait till he had an affair for months and impregnated the slut before you say "OMGWTFBBQ KILL ME NOW MY KID HAS A STEP SIBLING AND I HAVE AIDS"? Some of you might be saying...Why work so hard to prevent that seems unavoidable? If he cheats, he won't be worth it anyway. Rubbish.ALL men would cheat if there are no consequences.I sincerely believe that. Some don't because they don't wanna hurt us. Some because they are scared of losing us. Some because of kids, social ramifications, anything. Most commonly of all, men cheat because they made a mistake, thinking with their penis, enjoying the attention -THINKING THEY WON'T BE CAUGHT. And when you blindly trust, that's when they are most certain they will never get caught. Every few days I remind Mike how his life will be like if he is dumb enough to cheat. And I WILL find out. Money be gone/he will never find someone as good as me again/penis cut etc. Just in case he forgets. I'm sure a lot of you don't agree with my school of thought, saying,"You must be all sad, paranoid and worrisome all the time. That's not how love is supposed to be like. I pity Mike." LOL duncha worry.Mike and I are happy and in love. Obviously I *do* trust him because he is a good man with principles. But just not enough to 1) fully believe he will NEVER cheat and 2) not do my best to try to prevent it from happening. If the day comes and he strays, I'd say "Oh well at least I tried my best. And at least I was not duped for ages." What do you think? Do you trust your partner? Those of you who got cheated on, did you trust your partner? Do you still trust now? ------------------------------------------- Trust is a big question mark here. some would agree while some would think otherwise. as i read this post, i couldn't agree more. however it is always easier said than done, no? i don't know how about others, but my definition of trust would be a lil' dumb to others. i don't usually trust guy, but when i do i'm almost certain i would give my all even though it'll never be 100%. trusting a person is like opening your heart to others and giving them the chance to hurt you. the vulnerable you. it's about taking risks and taking chances. but if you don't, you'll never experience love. whenever choices are being made, no question being asked. i'll always follow my heart. i trust where my instincts lead me, & yes you might say i never use my brain to think. i do think about it, but there are certain things in life where there's no such thing as sound judgment would be the wisest of all or as such. there's no such thing as right or wrong decision. wrong can be made right, as long as you know that's the right thing to do despite whatever others tellings you not to. at the end of the day, you are answerable to yourself and not others. the decision made will affect your life and not others. as long as you don't live with regrets, wrong decision in other's eyes can be a right one for yourself. & in my 21 years of being a human, there's only 1 man i trust with my all although not 100% but i trust him. & no, that man is not my father. i don't trust my own biological father. & yes, i'm taking the risk. no more playing safe & no more following the rules. i was brought up with the background where no man is ever loyal nor can a man ever be trusted, but i've chosen my path. i choose to know who's worth the pain. i don't know if i'll ever get back up if things go wrong between us in the future. i'm not certain myself. but i choose to trust him. i'll only follow where my heart leads me to. sometimes i do made the wrong choice and regret about it, but to look back & constantly living in regrets is really not cool. life goes on. what a person can do is to change his perception. look at the brighter side of misfortunes that happened & slowly, before you know it. the truth unfolding itself before your very own eyes. there's always cause and effect to why things happened.
