i need a dr.

dear dr.
may you suggest me a better way to get rid of all these unnecessary thoughts in mind?
positivity is contagious.
so does the opposite- negativity is indeed contagious too.
no matter how hard i try to remain happy & to touch the lives of the others,
but somehow or rather, it's the other way round.
i don't know how it happened,
but my heart doesn't feel right.
i wished i could do more as an individual to touch the lives of the people i cared for.
but if that is so, why does my heart struggling kao kao with my mind?
slowly it affects me to fall into the self-pity trap yet again.
i feel lonely again in the sea of people- people whom i call friends.
it feels like day one again, when i tried my every best to fit in with the new clique of friends.
yet no matter how hard i tried, i always feel this place is not where i can fit in perfectly.

i don't wanna be so busy body invading other people's life when i can't even take care of my own yet.

so dear God, please take away the sense of empathy from me.

when You blessed me with too much of it, somehow it has become a burden to me.

i miss the place called home.
i miss being the person i used to be.
not having to mind so much of every words that has been uttered has a tendency of hurting others.
& knowing everything i do will be judged by others.
i longed to be in the arms of my loved ones.
where i can just be myself singing my heart outs.
& to be loved the same no matter who i have become.
i need a lot of strength to get back up & to make everyday counts.
goodnight, everyone.
tomorrow will be a better day.
ka chiiiing ;D