hey, am i really that naive till everyone has to cheat on me & take advantage of me huh?
& do i really look as though i have no brain to think as an individual
& people have to treat me like a kid?

or is it true that, this is the reality?
the cruel reality?

i feel so ashamed to even type this out. LOL
i thought, damn. my opportunity is here finally.
so i called Patrick & asked for his opinion.
see see i'm like a small kid get scolded by parents cos being so naive.
the only difference this time, he kept nagging me & make me feel so small.
but i feel so lucky.
cos i have someone to correct me if i'm wrong,
pamper me in times of need. hehe

hello my dear readers,
just a short note to all my fellow friends, you know who you are.

imiss you.

though i acted like a heartless ass not even a 'how are you?' SMS, but you know, you mean so much to me, i swear it's true.

cos right now, i have only one main purpose that driving me so hard to work like a cow.
i really really wanna get my MacBook Pro!
haha. so desperate huh? well, i don't know why, but this is something that i really want & really working so hard to get it. so pls, excuse me for the moment.
 i'll get back to my old self as soon as possible!

no matter how often i complained about life, but deep within; i am so ever grateful for all that happened.
cos life is really beautiful.
damn, i love my life! LOL

oh, & god bless all of you.
have a great day ahead of you!

;)

goodnight.

Life is not all work, work is not all hard toil.
I'm so fcuking pissed off today. She's a total bitch, like seriously.
You have a position, so what?
If you use your heart instead of your brain when managing people, sorry you don't get my respect.
Be fair to everyone, & talk with sense.
Stop playing the prejudice game.
& you'll gain my respect.
If you are being such a hypocrite, backstabbing people behind their backs, & in front talking so nicely to them, well i really failed to put on a plastic face like you do.
& stop trying to befriend with me, cos if i don't like you, i can't pretend to like you.
you biatch!
arghhh!
working life!
backside hole!

i'm sick of promises.
so stop giving me false hopes.
arghhhhhh!

my day today, screwed it.
hoping for a better day tomorrow!

hey, baby. i'm owning you soon. patience
going Penang to get the Fat Babi's MacBook Pro TOMORROW!
OHHHHHMYYYYYYYGAAAAWWWWWWWWD!
eventhough it's not my baby, but i'm feeling so anxious. so excited.
treating his baby as my stepbaby!
yehaaaaaaa.
LOL
LOL!
goodnight.

hello sakais.
i'm bored.
life's really shitty when you don't know what to do with your time.
i'm draining my body to its maxi already i suppose.
despite the fact that i'm exhausted,
for the first time i actually did not drag for my working hours to pass.
8 hours seems to me as if went for a movie with friends, had lunch & gone home.
you know why?
most probably because i'm working in front line today.
hell busy from 10am right up to 3pm woot.
i was really kelam kabut.
but what i really like about today,
there's a total of 16 persons dined in for their don't know what jamuan.
all 16 of 'em communicating without using words nor can they possibly hear what you said to 'em
i'm really impressed, you see.
sometimes i'd rather have friends who actually listen attentively to you as you speak.
friends who do not say a word about you when you turn your back.

maybe it's true that the colleagues you meet in the workplace are not the friends you meet in the school.
colleagues can never be a friend because majority are fakers. hypocrites & selfish.
it's not a hatred post, worry not.
my fault for trusting people too easily.
but at least i'm so grateful that someone actually tried to wake me up from the reality.
don't wanna elaborate too much on it.
makes me sick. LOL

on a bright side, hey hey we having new promotions next month onwards woot!
today we tried the triple passion, guava, passion fruit & don't know what mixed with the mango/orange juice & sprite. yummylicious!
& & also the smoked bbq sauce!
&&& the garlic bread. aiseh.. failure la that product. HAHA

just received a call. suddenly no mood to blog already. so ciao folks ;)

i have been away for two days & tell you what, i have so much to write about!

we departed from ipoh as early as 6am & reached kuala kedah at 9plus.
took the ferry to langkawi & guess what, the sky decided to pour already once we arrived the terminal.
but i love the weather seriously.
at least my body don't get so sweaty. haha
so the students admin's head acted as a guide & brought us tour around the school.
if you ask me, i don't really like the place. LOL
met Jeevan & met the principal i guess, Captain Rana Ranjit.
Patrick was the one having conversation with him while his parents & i stood there smiling didn't know how to react to someone so prominent like him.
i feel so proud cos he shook hand with me & out of nowhere he looked at me & said "God Bless You".
but the best part was of cos when we shook hand again to say bye bye.
the Captain asked me "how's ur results in school?"
told him i only got average results.
then he replied saying "but you look brilliant" smiling at me.
waaaasai. hahahaha.
mmg suka perasan lebih. LOL
we took a cab to Kuah Town & shopped for chocolates, what else! ;D
took the 3.30pm ferry back to kuala kedah & headed straight to Penang after that.
so disappointed cos i couldn't find the Golla's Backpack.
sold out it seems.
better luck next time. sighs
the Fat Babi paid the full amount for his MacBook Pro
so jealousssssssssss! sighs. LOL
but he is getting his laptop somewhere around next week
out of stock it seems.
the new line selling like hotcakes huh?
but i'm telling you this fact,
i'm so in love with the MacBook Pro, like seriously wanna get it ASAP!
so perfect that this babe is driving me crazy! LOL

i thought i'm off on Wednesday.
received a morning call from Lalitha informing me to go to work at 1pm.
i was like WTH? i'm so sleepy.
so decided to go anyway cos negotiation with the boss failed it seems cos she complained that they manja me too much, today must work cos not enough people. so alright. dragged myself up & reached there 10 minutes early.
the boss decided to extend me 3 hours cos one backside hole decided to skip work today.
i did enjoy myself if you ask me.
cos you know what, let me tell you this one thing.
this morning i woke up feeling rather depressed cos everything's a mess.
i have had bad dreams.
i tore my newly bought pants.
then i thought of being a lil bit more hardworking & took the initiative to wash the glasses & plates all.
guess what happened? i broke the glass. took out the gloves immediately & be good, back to being a Server.
have got nothing to do seriously, so i decided to wash the cutleries.
my Supervisor asked me "Chan, nak cuba buat muffin?"
i was showing my teeth feeling so excited!!
received compliments from my boss saying the muffins look good *big grins
curi makan the freshly baked muffins; goddamn tasty!
having sore throat already.
later, the Supervisor asked me pulak "Chan, wanna try Roaster?"
i was like YESSSSSSSSSS!
guess what, the chickens make me sick!
but it was really fun seriously.
hide in the chiller to pour the rempah & all & the supervisor was telling me 'treat the chicken like your baby. now put the powder on your baby's back. i was like =___________="
next thing i knew, my fingers got so numbed i started to feel so uncomfortable already. not only numb, my ten fingers were cramping. washed with hot water & felt so relieved.
damn, i love my work ;)

hello again,

*scratching head.

i'm getting more excited with each passing day..
i'm getting nearer to owning my baby!
still counting the days..

but the Fat Babi just called me & told me he's getting my baby next Tuesday when we're going down to Langkawi to check out his flying school. sooooooooo jealous!
but after that, shopping time! heaven's life! can shop for splatta chocolates with duty tax free & later, going down to Gurney's Plaza to shop for laptop's bag. waaaaaaaaa. can't wait seriously.

so today i've very much decided that on Monday when i see Ms. Shy i'm so gonna request to her i wanna be in the Assembly. no more Server! LOL. easier to kill time & less walking hours. tired of having to walk from one place to another when the place starts to get so crowded. oh btw, i'm so gonna join the Roasters Chicken Run. it seems fun. heh heh

p/s: guess what, Ms Mathevi aka my Restaurant Manager asked me about the scholarship thingy & the interview. i told her blah blah blah. & she started telling me she spoke to Mr Alan Loh the other day. i don't know what exactly but Ms Mathevi told me that Ms Esther, one of the interviewer during the Roasters Scholarship told her that i'm very cute. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA. so flattered! =p =p

oh, & on a very unrelated note. i have something to share.

there's this family consists of father, mother, son & a baby boy dined in Kenny Rogers today.
they ordered a family meal.
they were happy & full.
so they decided to ask for the bills.
the best thing about the father,
he was so indulged into playing with his baby boy that he did not realize i was right behind him.
he put his two hands together and clasped them on the baby boy's neck.
STRANGLING HIM!
OMG!
when the father turned & looked at me nie,
he was so embarrassed
he moved his hands so fast
& everyone was laughing so loud.
weird father.
weird ways of playing with kids.

i got the dream scholarship.
& i'm really excited about it!
thank You for helping me to achieve the impossible.
you know what i feel like doing?
i feel like hugging the Almighty so tight & telling Him how grateful i really am.

besides, i'm looking forward to turn my another dream into a reality in less than a month or two, perhaps.
i am getting my MacBook Pro reaaaaaaaaaal soon!
OMG.
seriously, this life of mine is so beautiful right now
i wish He would not withdraw it from me so soon using the same hand,
who has painted my life so beautifully.

;)

i must admit, ms swan is really funny. haha

Dear As & E,
i wished you did not think that i screw up this interview because i hope you know how much i really wanted this. all i really needed this time is someone to give me another chance to prove myself, putting aside the first impression.

i was so excited about this & even got up at 2am knowing i have to board the train at 4.40am.
i know what i have to say literally.
but when i see them, questions being asked. i have no answers. i was juggling with my words & damn, i know i screwed the only chance given to shine.
i rushed to the toilet & ready to burst in tears; when my heart tells me not to. not to give up hope so early yet. there's still chance. 50/50 or maybe 20/80. Maktub you know, everything is written by one hand only & only He decides what's best for me. so i did not want to think about it anymore but i could not help myself feeling so sad. 

so i took the LRT to Bukit Jalil to meet up with Patrick who got lost & waiting for me at Chan Sow Lin. haha. i think i am smarter than him in this sense, cos at least i know how to differentiate between Ampang line & Sri Petaling. KL's life is nothing but crowd. i feel so suffocated breathing the same air in kayhell. we reached Bukit Jalil to buy the return tickets back to ipoh. took the LRT back to Berjaya Times Square & had our brunch in Kenny Rogers. i remember the last time we went to Kenny Rogers, we got so excited with the food cos the chicken was damn tasty & so was the potato. but this time, i got so dissapointed with the food though it tastes way much better than the one in ipoh. LOL. we watched the Clash of The Titans & i would say it's a good movie though it's funny how there's so lil titans. not forgetting i slept off during the movie cos god knows how tired i was. woke up only to realize reaching climax already. so wasted.

we stumbled upon this Sixty shop & found a really cheap attire. rm29.90 & the quality is good. at least, the price is good. in ipoh, the good quality ones reaching rm90>, but here i found such a bargain attire. on the other hand, this bloody Soda attire that cost me rm96 is nothing but disaster. the colour came off after the first wash & got my ten fingers poisoned cos all turned black.

as usual, our journey is not complete without visiting the Apple stores. so we went to Low Yat Plaza & Lot 10 to check out the new line of MacBook Pro released on Tuesday. i'm sooooo excited about it cos you know why? 4 months ago, i was so determined to get the MacBook Pro because i love everything about the designs & functions. near to perfection. a month ago, i decided to get the MacBook instead because it's cheaper by 1k although i do not like the design. but few days ago, my desire to get the MacBook Pro is fixed because by adding additional rm400, i got the laptop i've always dreamt of. the new line just came out on time. damn, i am so happy.

God has mercy upon his people you know & miracles really do exist. it happened to me uncountable times already. that's the reason why whenever i am faced with problems, i no longer asked Why? instead i know why. cos God has His reason for every misfortune that happened. good or bad, i know He only chosen the best for His people, for me at least. when everything seemed impossible, i do not want to give up till the last minute cos i am aware that miracle is happening to everyone. it is happening to me if i choose to believe in it. cehhh, talk is cheap. but when it happens to you, you will know what i am talking about.

adios amigos

Mr. Babi wanted to drink strawberry dream yogurt & so he complained he got cheated by Kenny Rogers cos he did not get his strawberry. & so i made for him overload blended strawberry yogurt with staff price today. he's happy. =.="

haha. anyway, i'm getting lazier to work these days. apart from that, i am getting smarter as well. i learned not to work too hard because at the end of the day, you get nothing. as a staff, it's my responsibility to do my part but then again, when you see with your naked eyes how some people can be so ignorant. in short, so lazy. you get so frustrated. everyone is working so hard, but this some people all they do is chit chat & make jokes. in another word, lazy again. so depressing.

i went to Parkson & shopped for clothes to wear during the interview for this coming Wednesday. been scouting for days already but couldn't find any. ipoh is so small & limited. sighs. but i bought myself this Soda Exchange shirt as well as the slack. well, fingers cross hoping for the best. i hope i impress the judges so they might as well give me the scholarships. haha. only giving to 4 students, i heard. goddamn hard! so tension.

the best part about myself, i've been thinking for so many days & nights thinking what might be asked during the interview. but i could not think of any impressive answer.

but today, i thought of getting a feel of being in the room facing the judges; & so i dressed myself up formally & practice in front of the mirror. LOL. i never knew i've got this talent of speaking so fluently in front of the mirror! omg. i'm so impressed with myself. heeeeeeeee.

i really really wanted this, you know. like more than anything i've ever asked.

p/s: i finally got The Alchemist book! i've been searching it for ages. i'm so happy i got it now. not working tomorrow, so gonna finish reading it by tomorrow. wheeeeeeeee

i had such a weird night yesterday.

3am in the morning & i heard noises outside my house.

i peeked through my windows & saw one really cute chihuahua outside my house howling.

so i quickly woke my mum cos being afraid it's a trap or something. tv always show how the robbers do something to lure the victim out in the middle of the night & the next thing before you know it, all your money gone as well as... haha

& yeah, i found out a truth that my dog is actually gay. he kept fcuking that male chihuahua.
but the best part was when my mum tried to separate them & hit the chihuahua with a plastic bag & sent him flying so far away. the chihuahua kept barking at my mum as if scolding her. sooooooo cute!

so it was my first time going to the pasar at 4am with my mum since the cekap me planning to cook today. hoho

i was awake one whole day right until i had brunch with Patrick at noon. i started seeing helicopters in my head after that.

oh before that, i received a call at 11am from Berjaya Roaster congratulating me cos i have been shortlisted to go for the interview on the 14th April! OMG. sooooooooooooooooooo happy! time to shop for new clothes already now. so excited. so excited.

well, i have alot to say actually but don't remember much already.

time to cook my dinner now ;D

life is really beautiful :D :D :D

my life's been superb busy.

so i get back to Sidewalk the other day to earn more money since working with Kenny Rogers like having vacation nie. i've been only working for 3days a week, can you imagine how desperate i need the money now? & of cos, nothing comes easy in life. you have to work hard to gain what you want & that's exactly what i'm doing right now.

morning kenny rogers until 7pm had to rush to work in Sidewalk at 7.30pm until 1am, & the next day get back to work in KR as early as 8.30am! wow. i couldn't believe that was me doing that for the sake of my Macbook, but something is telling me all my sweats and bloods are worth it at the end of the day. perseverance.

so i had my siesta & once i got up, it feels as if this body of mine does not belong to me.

oh yes, & i have this emotional breakdown again. i don't know what's wrong with me these days, but i feel as if im being extra sensitive. every words spoken by him, matter to me. so shitty.

i had such an unforgettable birthday night & remembering he did mention that he wouldn't take off just to celebrate whoever's birthday. cos for him; birthday, no biggies. but today, he told me. he's planning to ask to go home early cos he wana celebrate his sister's birthday. very much reasonable. but why is it so that my heart aching? im sensitive, getting more sensitive in fact. i tried not to think about it, but i couldn't stop thinking.. would he ever do the same for me too? stopped telling me how much you wanted to spend your day with me when you don't even try to put your words into action. what if that night on my birthday, he actually tried to ask to go home early just to celebrate with me & not making my whole day feeling so miserable & how desperately i want that night to end cos on my birthday, i don't feel being remembered at all. i just wanted more attention, only for one day, was that too much to ask for? & now asked me to take off on Sunday's night so that i can join his family together for the birthday's celebration. maybe it's just me, but that's so contrasting to what he has once said. or maybe it's me again, being so selfish. tell me what's right & whats wrong. cos i don't know how to be rational in this case.

true, in a relationship it's not about revenge. you did this to me & i have to do the same for you, but i'm feeling weak already.. i tried, i tried really really hard to live up to your expectations but why is it that i'm always wronged in your eyes?

suffocating.