A Relaxing Saturday

Glad that the electricity was cut off for an hour or so. 
I managed to read the Part 1 of {How to Win Friends & Influence People{ written by Dale Carnegie. 
Here's the excerpts taken from the book: 

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. Instead of condemning people, lets try to understand them. Lets try

 to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness." 

As quoted by Charles Schwab, 

"The greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement."

It is another very inspiring book I've read to date. but I have yet to complete reading the entire book. Guess will only be able to do so after my finals. Glad I bought this book from the second-hand book fair yesterday in Leisure Mall.

Speaking of which, i had another great night spent with my friends.
having to walked under the heavy rain with a mini umbrella to have our steamboat dinner.
being teased at for wearing a duckling-slippers =.=
had so much fun playing with Sally's apps; photos of us when we get old and bald.
then we walked over to Leisure Malls and lepak-ed at Station 1 playing cards while listening to live band.
I'm so gonna miss everything about here; the people, the place when i leave this town. the friends that i have is what makes my experience even more worthwhile. the memories that we created are so precious to me.
i'll be moving on to another new chapter of my life very soon.
the future is still very much uncertain.
although i'm afraid, but I'm more than excited and anticipating for this new chapter.
cant wait to discover what the future holds for me.

you know, right now i have yet to confirm a place for interns. Ms. Ivy told me there's no reply from the hotel yet and friends kept telling me "Don't put your hope too high. what if you don't get your first choice, so what will you be doing next? no backups plan?"
Well I do have, but i am still hopeful. this is nerve-wrecking having to live day by day with uncertainties. the only reason to keep me going is positivism. i believe all's well as long as i persevere. miracles happened to me not once or twice, but it has happened to me many times already. that's why i refused to believe there's nothing impossible if you sincerely want something bad enough, the universe conspires in helping you in achieving what you wanted.

i'll prove to you. just so you wait and see. ;)

for now, agh. the lazy hormones in my body is holding me back from progressing in my revision. finals starting on Monday, & guess, I'm a lil' too relaxed and laid-back.

promise to self, after finish watching this whole season of Hell's Kitchen, i pledge to study kao kao. oosh. waste no time anymore. ciao!

ps: my friends going to Big Bang concert tonight. so lucky! i wished i could join them too. ;(

-

today is thursday!

im coming home this Saturday! happy me! & patrick took half day off to pick me up from kl; cos i have tonnes of stuff needa bring home. ;D

im moving out in two weeks time. but already packed all my stuff. efficient to the max!
speaking of which, i never noticed i had so many clothes in my closet. i thought i'd donated all my old clothes? *slaps self

im anxious! no call no news from Shangri-La's just yet. praying day and night, hoping they would call soon. i have so many plans in my head right now, cant wait to execute them all.

oh & my lecturer was very happy with my research presentation. he said it is a very good research. i knew i could do much much more if im given more time to put my ideas into words. but im having too much to handle right now, hopefully all's done by next week.

blogging used to be my hobby. but i have lost that passion to write already. but i promise i'll be back. feels like wana revamp this blogsite and beautify it further. heh heh

oh shoot. i have a midterm tomorrow. been studying half the day & only managed to cover one chapter. there's four more chapters to go. shoot. mind you, under one chapter there's many many more sub chapters with journals, articles, and god-knows what else. god bless him.

hope you guys have a good day! appreciate the people around you. carpe diem!

ciao

Short Semester

Wow!

This Semester is crazy!

7 weeks of study and now it's the 4th weeks already.

I dont even know what I have learned.

One subject is enough to consume all my energy and time, resulting in excessive fatigue.

Just a short update on what i've been through within the four weeks:

1. Request to defer internship has been rejected. how great? 

I applied since last semester, & if i hadn't approached the person in charge two weeks ago, i wouldn't have known.

Everything was so rush, I had to attend the workshop, prepare resume and start looking for place to go for internship.

& i have decided, Shangri-La's Rasa Sayang Resort & Spa Penang is the only place i wana go. i'll make sure i ace the interview tho i'm still in the midst of finding a room in batu ferringhi. it's okay, all's well in the end. i'm positive about it ;)

2. As usual, Mr. Mustache given us an impossible task of two weeks to write a research paper on CSR (whereas he himself needed a year to write such paper, but oh well, he expected us, the noobie to get it done) that was really tough, for the pass two weeks, we had sleepless nights and even had no time for other assignments. well, I'm glad we did a good job in proving our capabilities tho there were many fights in between.

3. Guess what, this was also my first time to fight with a lecturer for he was really stepping on our heads. none of them voiced out and although my voice shakes, but i just had to voice out. i was labelled as being rude by one of my classmates. that hurts, but if only i was able to think at that moment. i would have told her, that's because she wasn't in our shoes to feel what it is like to be forced to accept a decision made without given the chance to choose, & that particular lecturer didn't bother to ask for the members' opinions to come into consensus for the decision he made on behalf of us. that was rude, no?

akkkk, speaking of the Mr. Mustache pissed me off. i need to keep my my cool. ciao

Back For Good

i feel like blogging.

to jot down whatever emotions I'm feeling at the moment.

this phase is exhausting.
i don't know what I'm feeling anymore.
i feel numbed.
numb by the fact that I'm having so much in mind at the moment.

i would say Entrepreneurship was my turning point.

was really disappointed with the project.

no, not with the project. but with myself.

for not believing in myself,

for not standing firm in what i believe in.

& most of all, for not being good enough.

i constantly ask opinions from others, to prove my own merit.

& i choose not to listen to my inner voice.

i was devastated & almost fell into depression.

so i decided to run away & disappeared for a while. 

let me tell you, avoidance isn't the best way.

& being an anti-social doesn't work either.

i woke up one morning & decided to make a change.

i dont wana be forever looking up to people to prove my own merit.

i dont wana constantly put myself as a victim complaining about almost everything in life.

more importantly, i dont wana live in regret.

for that, i feel it is time to wake up.

no more saying tomorrow i'll change.

the change begins today, and everyday onwards.

i know i may not be right all the time, but i believe i may be right most of the time too.

i may not be perfect, but at least i am willing to learn and i no longer fear to commit mistakes neither do i be bothered by what others have to say about me anymore.

cos what others have to say, really don't matter.

what i think of myself, is what matter.

the best motivator i figured out, is not your family or friends. 

but is you, your own self.

if you don't, who else will?

i woke up on a Sunday morning and decided, i wana get bangs! despite what my mum and some friends told me not to get one, i insisted on getting one. for if i don't try, i'll never know if it suits me or not. besides, i thought it'll be a great way to put my words into action; i always say i wana boost my confidence & to start believing in myself, but what have i done so far? talk is cheap. so i gotta bear with the consequences of my actions. & tadaaaa....

if you ask me, i still have that little fear inside me. 

fear of rejection. 

but i kept reminding myself that i am stronger than i thought i was.

i will do the best i can in everything

& i will learn to love myself even more.

i will not put myself in a position to be let down by people

for i will not be afraid to express myself anymore.

if i am upset with you, i will say it straight to your face

but if i know i am wrong, i will not hesitate to apologize.

i will define my life for myself and i wana make a difference.

i wanna live in gratitude & let the real, authentic, courageous person i am shining through.

R.I.P to my fears, insecurities, negativity, doubts and timid person i used to be!

although i gotta admit, i am still the timid person i was,

but i pledge to change & allocate some time for myself to change.

let yesterday be a good reminder to do better today. and tomorrow be even better than today.

mistakes are allowed to be made, but to constantly regret is not.

also, i find these quotes very trued indeed. 

i really hope this inner fire in me is here to stay. for, it is the very reason i am motivated to make a change. ;))

Puzzled

Sometimes, can't help but to ponder on the What Ifs.
What if I did not do what I did,
How would my life be, compared to now?
Would it be for the better or worse?

Life's like a puzzle.
The missing piece is like the what if,
You'll only see the complete picture when you put all the missing piece together.
Similarly, there will be no definite answer to the how, what, why things happened.
One just gotta believe that there is always a reason as to why things happened.
You don't see the answer now, but eventually you would.

I am curious of many things.
Sometimes I feel upset when bad things happened.
But I believe in destiny.
I believe that this life of mine is well written before I was even born.
& I believe that whatever happens, it is always for the better.
No matter how curious or furious I can be at times,
But I believe in destiny.
I really do.

The power of one's mind.
It has the ability to keep a person wide awake even at 4.01am

The Mind

I believe how a person lives his life is very much depended on one factor.
That factor is the power of one's mindset.
If you think you are happy, you will be.
& vice versa.
Words are always easier said than to actually do what you preached.
I constantly reminded myself I'll be happy being the way I am right now.
For quality of one's life isn't measured on how many quantity  friends you have,
but more of the quality friends that matter.
Life is kind of like a party.
You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.
But in the end, after the fun,
there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.
& most of the time, they are not even the ones who made the mess.
These people are your real friends in life.
They are the ones who matter most.
I don't know. But i feel it in my heart.
I don't feel belong no matter how much I tried.
Perhaps, that's the reason why I don't know how to communicate with people anymore.
Because I stopped talking to people.
I put up a higher wall, just so that they can't reach me.
Cos they don't understand me. & they judged.

Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. 

What I learned in February

Goodbye February!
Although I have a love-hate feeling for you,
But I understand all these shits happened for a reason.
Within a short period of 29 days;

You taught me few very important lessons:
1. The importance of family. To appreciate them even more, not to take them for granted for life can be taken away from anyone at anytime at all. I no longer afraid to say I love you to my mum. :)

2. Either to do well in everything or not to do anything at all. Either you try your best or don't even bother trying at all. Be passionate. Nothing is impossible as long as you have faith in what you strongly believe in.

3. Be true to yourself. There will always be someone somewhere out there who hates you for being you. Don't change who you are just to fit in. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Don't force. Don't be devastated either. Look for someone else who can accepts you for being you. and not pretending to be someone you are not.

4. Do not keep grudges. Ask yourself; If the world is coming to an end, does it matter anymore? What really matters to you? Embrace what you have and let go of the past. Hasta la vista, yo!

5. Be contented for what you have. Don't complain. Don't ask for more. Just be thankful for even be able to wake up in the morning. Remember, everyday as you are feeling dreadful for yet another day, someone somewhere is struggling to live for another day.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

You know?

The reason I stopped trying is because you judged.
No matter how hard I tried to blend in, it will never work.
It's like, I'm always the black sheep.
Maybe I'm being sensitive, but I can't help being myself.
Just let me do things the way I want.

Need lotsa discipline to finish my assignments in advance so I can have a stress-free weekends.
Can't wait to be home next week!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sometimes

I'd rather be surrounded with few of my loved ones or to be in a new place where I know no one and can be whoever I choose to be.
Because, they don't judge.
So sick of living here already.

Dodo

Today I feel devastated.
Memories kept playing in my head.
For all the years he has stood by me,
10 years without failed.
I regret for not being good enough.
I loathed how much I had to walk him everyday.
But now I'll definitely miss doing the same routine.
Everyday. For the past ten years.
If this is what God wanted,
For the best of him and us,
I'll have to accept.
But I need time to recover.
His absence will be felt.
I miss my lil bro.
Funny how people will only start to appreciate what they once had once its gone.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

February

This is my favorite month.
The month of love.
The time where I would preferably spend with people close to my heart.
Putting aside everything but family and friends.
Bonding with family, my boyfriend and catching up with friends.
Talking about old times & keeping in touch.
I yearn for loves, attention and the sense of belonging.
All I ask of is very simple.
Time.
Time to spend with loved ones.
& I'll be contented.

Again and Again!

I feel it in my heart again.
This discomfort doesn't seem to leave me at all.
Like an ol'friend stopping by in your place to say hello once in awhile.
Only difference, this ol'friend choose to stay in your heart and breaks it into pieces before you are able to recollect the pieces and put it back in place.
I feel bored. and tired at times.
& the presence of this ol'friend worries me.
Right now, it's happening again.
You. Can't you hear me? I'm talking to you.
I want you to start paying attention to my every details and stop taking me for granted.
Show me what I've been missing from you.
I miss us. The old us though. 😢


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My Weakness

My weakness is I need someone to talk through the night with me.
Be a friend not judgmental but accepting.
I don't know, but this is in me.
I hate going to sleep at night alone.
I need to talk to someone but right now, I'm yet to find that someone.

#Just Saying

I think that everything happens to us for a reason. 

The hard times that we go through;

build our characters, making us a much stronger person & help us to accept the people the way they are.

In the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take,

the relationships we were scared to have

& the decisions we waited too long to make.

There comes a time in your life when you realize 

who matters, who doesn’t, who never did and who always will. 

So don’t worry about the people from your past, 

there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

That's the least I could think of.

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. 

& guess what they have planned for you? Not much, I believe.

Sometimes we become consumed with the everyday troubles which sometimes are blown way out of proportion.  

All too often, however, we let these troubles weigh too heavily on our shoulders. 

We lose focus and stressed ourselves on unnecessary things.

We magnified the tiny dots of problem and see it as if it's the end of the world. 

We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often says “Hey look, Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived." ;p

As I grow, I learn more on how to be a person & not to hold everything too tightly to oneself.

I also learn to enjoy the time spent doing what I want solely & not clinging onto others all the time doing what they want.

This, I'll leave a question mark to it,

but the point is, one should try to appreciate all that is going well in life, 

even the slightest thing which too often being taken granted for and not paid attention to.

It is these types of moments that make the everyday issues trivial, 

allowing us to devote less energy to stress and worry,

& more to life’s little treasures. 

Well, sometimes, you just have to dance in the rain or merely just stare blankly at the sky, admiring the nature or even be contented to be able to wake up in the morning to experience life.

As lame as it sounds to be, that's my definition of Life, at least. heh.

Goodnight, I gotta go already else this big fat bear gonna sleep on my bed. =.=

Ps: This is my second night with my new roommate. Have I not introduced her yet? Well, her name is Chrismiin. I'm eager to learn more about her. Just a moment ago, I had a conversation with this lady & she told me that never once crossed her mind that we would be roommate & asked if she was dreaming. My reply as usual? I always believe in destiny. Things good or bad ALWAYS happened for a reason, & I tend to believe it's always for the betterment.. so tadaa, here it is yet another long post from me again. ;)

You cute lil' creature

I dreamt of you yesterday. =.=