i've so much to write about if you ask me.

so many outdated-posts to be updated.

don't even know where to begin with.

before stpm,

i had so much in mind;

wanting this, hoping that, wishing so much to happen

couldn't wait for stpm to end.

now that stpm has ended,

still have so much in mind;

worrying this, planning that, praying hard everything work out the way i want it exactly.

how i wished i'm still in school.

now that i have to choose the path that so gonna decide where i'll be heading in the next 10 years,

i started to freak out.

so many what ifs.

what if i choose the wrong path?

what if i make the wrong decision today?

what if i fail to secure a job?

what if i can't afford to pay for my studies?

what if the government doesn't approve my loan?

what if i get a bad results in stpm?

what if i have to start all over again?

what if i don't like what i'm doing?

my sister reminded me over and over again not to worry too much for the yet-to-happen,

but if i don't start thinking now,

if i don't start planning now,

i'll end up wasting my life up for nothing.

i just hate to make decisions.

hate to grow up.

as a child, i have always wanted to be an adult.

but being an adult is not easy.

but then again, being a teenager is so much harder.

now i wished to remain as a child.

cos when you are a child, all you worry about is what games you wanna play, or what to do to kill time.

but being a teenager; you are at a crossroads in life- all you worry about is the choice you make today will determine your tomorrow, that you started to feel time is too precious to be wasted.

hahahahaaha.