well.. i really don't wanna write a post right now, but there's something bugging me so much that i couldn't even sleep, so thought of ..... =)

We know how annoying the bed bugs are, but even so; the bed bugs failed to keep me from having a good night sleep.

Mr. Ratnam's death indeed was shocking to myself.

Few hours ago, someone really close to me sent me messages saying how sad she feels about something that has happened and my mum complaining all about her work. That moment, i was still trying to put myself into their shoes, trying to feel how they felt about it and i understood completely how damned that could be.

But few minutes ago, someone i barely know told me the death of Mr. Ratnam. I was stunned and my mind kept playing flashcards to the image of him, the person i hardly know the name. The man that i only waved Hello when i see him guarding the toilet or keeping the school clean. Today i know his name was actually Ratnam.

It kept me thinking, god-knows-why.

Life is so fragile and it is so short.
One never chooses to age,
We would like to dream a little,
Life is not meant to die,
They often die of course,
Cos life is so fragile.

It's funny how when we are given the chance to choose how we feel today,
we chose to be pessimistic;
thinking of the dreadful experiences instead of moving forward,
putting ourselves into a self-pitying mood,
complaining the big WHY of life,
making life all so complicated.
when all we could do is to really TRY.
it's always easier said than done,
cos i've been in that situation before,
where everyone stuffed you with all kind of shits tryna convince you,
when all you know; it doesn't help even a bit.
but how awful it is compared to a person's life who has been taken away unwillingly.
i would rather choose to be happy instead of sad,
smile instead of cry,
optimistic instead of being so pessimistic.
cos if i know, my life is so short,
i wouldn't wanna waste my time thinking of something which i couldn't change the fact that it happened,
unless i have a time machine invented by some idiots and change whatever unfortunate that happened.
but it only happened in fantasy.
you and i knew it long before we grown up.
when we know it's only a fantasy,
why can't we TRY to focus on the good side of things instead of the bad ones.

someone once told me that we choose how we feel today. our mind will determine how today would be. the choise is yours. it only depends on how you choose to feel today, and it'll definitely change everything. how true is that?

some who tried too hard to impress others would give a damn how they reacted toward others, but those who really gives a damn about what they really want, wouldn't even give a damn about what others think of them no matter how crazy it seems to be. right?

i'm not saying this because someone has passed away and i have to say something good about that person, but well... i do think that Mr. Ratnam is a good person and someone i'll truly pay respect to.